Author: Patrick Kerry

Earls Colne hosted IPSCOL in a first-of-two fixture this season, this being the opposition’s home game as they often use our ground.  Several of their players had learned their trade playing for Colne during 2023 season so there plenty of geniality off the pitch before and after, as well as devious plans to remove certain batters as we know them almost as well as Ashes opponents do.

Captain David had one vital job pre-game, viz. win the toss. The mood in the dressing room palpably darkened as his magic deserted him; Colne would be out in the field for 3+ hours as the temperature climbed. El Presidente & Chief Groundsman Terry Prestney had cut a strip nearest the tennis courts, so we wondered anxiously whether any IPSCOL biffer had spotted this easy opportunity for a cut or pulled six.  Fortunately not, as both sides ended up sharing the mere four maximums that went that way.

Seeking early breakthroughs and armed with what might encouragingly be called their 2^nd string attack (due to multiple injuries, half-term breaks, and late work commitments) Colne were indebted to a batting mix-up and smart throw from Nick Oskiewicz for the first breakthrough.  Together with AT-A, Nick was also toiling away on bowling duties to no avail, so the skipper tossed the ball to the more canny slower bowlers, Maulik Patel & Ollie Judge.  Maulik has recently discovered that bowling a tighter and more accurate line whilst turning the ball is actually more effective than the quicker, wayward variety.  His final figures of 3-62 were testament to this new routine, so whilst he was happy christening Nick as ‘Jonty’ after the South African fielding legend, skipper David was happy calling him the ‘new Karan’ after our own slow bowling legend, who returned to India after picking up many wickets and controlling the opposition in the past few seasons.

After 32 overs, Colne were in control themselves.  IPSCOL were struggling to put any partnerships more than 20-odd together and with 6 wickets down, it was all looking rosy for keeping the oppo down to under 200.  But our persevering bowlers were tiring and with few alternatives to turn to  (when Andrew Leeks is called up to turn his arm, you know the cupboard is a little bare!) the IPSCOL batters started to motor.  Not even Nick O. bowling an illegal 13^th over could make a difference so when ST-A bowled the final over, the nervous hordes watching wondered which version of the erstwhile quickie would turn up.  Would we be chasing 270, 290, more ?  Luckily, it was the handily slower, accurate version, and the oppo were restricted to a meagre 250 when we’d feared worse.  Special mention to AT-A for opening the bowling for the first time and showing improvement all the time, Maulik for the 2^nd run out, Shea May for stepping in to sub field for  several overs, and the safest pair of hands on the pitch, Ivan Fellowes for his two catches off steepling shots. Normally accustomed to catching a rugby ball at the lineout, we were impressed Ivan chose not to immediately drop the cricket ball to an imaginary scrum half.

Colne’s batting lined up looked as brittle as the bowling had been on paper, batters short of runs, a middle order that wasn’t there, and even our go-to #11, Felix Preston, had gone to somewhere else, so only 10 able-bodied players were urgently seeking shade and liquid for an extended tea-break.  When they eventually made their way to the middle, the normally-reliable openers were soon out to familiar ways: Andrew weighed up debating the lbw decision he received, whilst David, high on the adrenaline of depositing the ball onto the tennis courts, sent the next one skyward for an eventual catch.

Cometh the hour and cometh the young man though.  Cue Ollie Judge, who must have  decided that having spent 45 overs in the field (including 9 overs of bowling) what he really wanted to do now was to spend 40 overs batting as well.  A useful partnership of 75 with Pat followed and was only ended when Pat failed to spot ‘a really slow one’ and was triggered lbw by his umpiring nemesis, Andrew.  Nick came next and soon achieved what no-one has seen at Colne in many years – an actual run four ! Whilst still admonishing himself for not having hit the ball a teensy bit harder and saved his heart rate a few dozen, he also put up a skier which was pouched by the bowler.

In came Sabu with a point to prove that he could play responsibly and deliver runs so maybe it was the responsibility of shepherding Ollie along or maybe it was because he’d noticed that as is customary with these matches against IPSCOL, the shadows were starting to lengthen.  The partnership flourished with Ollie nudging and nurdling whilst Sabu cut and pulled aggressively; despite having come in when Ollie was on 35 , Sabu accelerated past him and reached his maiden Colne 50, eventually finishing on 66*.

Ollie, having been stuck in the nervous forties for what must have seemed like a lifetime, eventually took a leaf out of Sabu’s book and reached his 50 with a dashing cut to the boundary.  Congratulations to him on the first of many for us !

The target remained challenging though, and as ST-A developed pad rash waiting for the next wicket, the bowling remained just tight enough to keep a lid on Colne reaching it.  The massed ranks watching kept up the positive encouragement of the required run rate; “you need 9 an over!”, you need 12.78 an over!”, “you need 21 off 2 balls!”, with an ever-increasing desperation.  The 96-run partnership ran out of time though and an incredible victory wasn’t to be.  But defeat by a mere 20 runs was a positive outcome given this was a weakened side, and any defeat where you take nine opposition wickets and only lose four of your own provides us with clear pointers for the future.

Next week, it’s our first official home match against fellow early-season strugglers Sudbury.  In football parlance, this has the makings of a ‘6-pointer’ !   It will also mark the debut of Mrs Preston taking on full tea provision, so if last season’s sandwiches are anything to go by, we’re all looking forward to that !

Match Result

IPSCOL 250-9 (45 overs) M. Patel 3-62, N. Oskiewicz 2-58

Earls Colne 230-4 (45 overs) S. Patel 66*, O. Judge 56*

With last week’s reporter despatched back to White House, it was back to normal with another away fixture this week, over at local rivals Halstead.  Maybe it was the early-season mixed form, maybe it was the tension of the local derby, or maybe it was just the after-effects of Andrew Leeks’ enormous breakfast at the local café, but Earls Colne CC came to this game nervous and needing to turn their luck around. 

With a near-full squad to pick from, this was a reasonably strong Colne side who assembled at Halstead, some proudly wearing the new blue training tops, some wearing their breakfast, and some wearing pained memories of having been triggered lbw first ball here last season.  A late withdrawal on the race card saw Ed Merry replaced by Maulik Patel, whilst new debutant David Lilley prowled the boundary summoning all the menace he could for his soon-to-be-unleashed opening bowling spell.

Yet again, the Wizard of Toz, David G. won the flip and chose to bat. Striding out with his opening partner, the breakfast-monster, the rest of the Colne team took to the deckchairs and were soon lost drifting into dreamland, safe in the knowledge they wouldn’t be called on for at least two hours. UNTIL several minutes later when total chaos reigned as the changing room key passed hands more times than Spurs have gifted goals this season – three wickets down for only eight runs on the scoreboard meant a total rethink on who should be umpiring and scoring, let alone reminders about calm heads and ‘time on our hands’.  Aforementioned openers and Sunil all opted for the ‘watching from the boundary’ over ‘participating’ approach to batting, so it left two experienced players, Will Dunn and Pat Kerry to pick up the pieces yet again. 

Not since these two put on 350 in an all-day match vs the Wine Trade many years back (well, it felt like that score after lunch!) were the ever-increasing rows of spectators treated to a generous treat of left-right strokeplay.  Will’s elegant late cuts – some of which connected – and reverse sweeps combined with Pat’s mis-timed hoiks and repeated tapping of the bat at the merest whisper of a lbw appeal reminded some of the elder spectators of Gower & Lamb at their finest.

All things come to an end though, and soon PK was back on scoring duties, having succumbed to the 14^th lbw appeal, whilst WD was bowled for 68. With those two gone, no other batter felt compelled to push on – Shiva was all bustle and aggression, Ollie was overly-adept at picking out fielders with every stroke, Maulik fell to his ‘go-to’ shot (huge swing across the line and caught on the boundary), debutant David was undone by a more flighted ball & AT-A ran out of partners.  Only ST-A showed what a promotion to #8 meant to him, out-scoring his best performance of 2025 for the 3^rd time in a row.  From being the go-to batter for a low single-digit score, this lad is now regularly scoring more than most of the recognised batters in the team.

With lashings of Halstead’s excellent sandwiches & pork pies weighing them down, Colne took to the field, defending 153.  Not too long ago, that might have seemed a challenging target, but with more aggressive styles of play and the Halstead nightlife hotspots on offer, the visitors knew they’d have to bowl and field to their top levels all the way through. 

Shiva understood this more than most, ripping through the defence of Halstead opener #1 with his very first ball.  Not long after, he did the same to #2, ensuring a father/son duo were despatched early doors.  Little did we know that the other father/son duo would wreak revenge soon after.  And what revenge; try as they might, none of Colne’s attack (Shiva, David L., Sunil, Ollie, Maulik) could dislodge young Freddie Rose from scoring his first adult cricket 50, and despite advising him to take a rest, save it for next time, etc, he then turned that into 100*.

Colne’s fielding was much improved from last week, with the highlight being AT-A taking an absolute blinder of a sitter at point, and the lowlight being Maulik chasing the ball down with good intention only to kick it over the boundary.  So Colne struggled to take a 5^th wicket as Dad Justin Rose tediously nudged and nurdled the singles whilst son Freddie displayed all the scoring strokes en-route to victory. Congratulations to him and the rest of the Halstead team for this win – special note to our groundsman, set the JCB to ‘upper Pennines’ for the return fixture !

Match Result

Earls Colne 153 all out (39 overs) W. Dunn 68, P. Kerry 40

Halstead 157-4 (27.3 overs) S.Velu 2-45

Ladies and gentlemen – thank you, thank you – what a match, really something. A lot of people are talking about it, and honestly, they should be talking about Earls Colne, because there’s a story there, a very big story. Not an easy one, but an important one.

So Earls Colne wins the toss – good call, strong call – they go out to bat, and early on you’re thinking, “Okay, they’re setting something up here.” But then, very quickly, things start slipping. Wickets falling – too fast, too easy. You can’t have that. At this level, you just can’t. There were moments – little moments – where you thought maybe they’d stabilise, maybe build something, but it didn’t quite happen.

Now, I want to talk about Ed Merry, because this was a serious innings. Eighty-eight runs – very classy, very determined. He stayed out there while everything else was kind of falling apart around him. And people are saying, “Was it a lone effort?” In many ways, yes. He held that innings together almost single-handedly. You don’t see that every day. Real fight, real grit.

But here’s the thing – and it’s tough, but it’s true – cricket is not a one-man game. You need partnerships. You need guys sticking around, building innings, taking pressure off your top performer. And that just didn’t happen. You had starts – little starts – but nobody really pushed on. And when you look back at it, that’s where the game began to slip away.

They get to 196, which, on paper, looks respectable. People might say, “That’s competitive.” And yes, it can be – but it depends how you get there. This one felt like it needed just a bit more. Maybe another 20, 30 runs, maybe one more batter stepping up alongside Merry. That changes everything. But they didn’t get it.

And then you look at the middle order – again, I’m not being harsh, just honest – it didn’t quite fire. Some wickets came very close together, and that’s always dangerous. When momentum goes against you like that, it’s very hard to pull it back. And once you lose that control, the opposition starts to believe.

Bowling-wise, Earls Colne tried. They really did. You could see the effort, the intent. There were a few decent spells, a few moments where you thought, “Maybe they can make this interesting.” But it’s very difficult when the total isn’t quite big enough, and the pressure’s not fully there. You need early wickets, you need breakthroughs – and they only got one. Just one. That’s not going to win you many games.

And I’ll say this – because it matters – there’s talent in that side. You can see it. Players like Merry, others contributing in flashes. But it’s about putting it together, all at once, as a team. That’s what the best sides do. They don’t rely on one performance, they build a complete game.

Now, Coggeshall, they did what they had to do, they chased it down, fine. Credit where it’s due. But this game, in many ways, is about Earls Colne and what could have been. Because you can see it – just a few things go differently, a few partnerships, a little more discipline – and suddenly it’s a very different contest.

So the big takeaway? Earls Colne has work to do. Not massive, not impossible – but important work. Build those partnerships. Support your top performers. Hold your nerve when wickets start to fall. Because the foundation is there. The potential is there.

And if they get it right – if they really get it right – they’re going to surprise a lot of people. Maybe even very soon. I know these things because I could have a pro player myself.

Match Summary

Earls Colne 196-9 (45 overs) Ed Merry 88*, Sunil Srinivasan 26

Coggeshall 200-1 (30.1 overs) Sunil Srinivasan 1-36

Another late April Saturday, another rummaging around for where you left your spikes, another working out how early you have to leave to get to the away venue at the unheard-of-time demanded by the skipper ….it can only be the new season for the friendliest and most fun cricket club in Earls Colne !

Whilst we may be friendly and fun, we are serious about our cricket and not for nothing have hours been spent in the gym, numerous indoor net sessions attended, and days spent poring over online equipment emporiums.  But enough about Nick Porter, this is a team game and we were off to Tendring for our opening fixture of the season.  Those who hadn’t already been bored by the ex-Chair’s tedious anecdotes about the time we beat the oppo in the Sunday Cup Final back in 1973 (or maybe it was 2013) chose to make their own way there early and nab the advantageous parking slots just out of the direct firing line of the pitch.

Skipper David Griffith won the toss yet again for the 44^th time in row, using an old trick that never fails and chose to bat, appointing Sabu Patel as his willing opening partner in the absence of the wily veteran Andrew Leeks.  Both batters discovered that nothing replicates practice like being out on the open square with the new ball swinging more than a drunk at a yoga class; Tendring’s opening bowlers, Jenno & Tattersall, were serving up unplayable deliveries more often than our intrepid duo liked. David’s patience eventually wore out and lithe athlete though he once was, oil tanker metaphors sprang to mind as he failed to get his bat down in time for ‘keeper Parker to claim the first of his three stumpings.  Sabu was bowled soon after by the metronomic Owen Jenno, and Colne were facing the second crisis of the season – first, if you discount the discovery by a few players that the gamble of whether teas would be provided had backfired.

However, every layer of our onion reveals yet more talent, and these departures brought in the experience of Sunil S. and the youth of debutant Ollie Judge.  Not since Jacob Bethell had been introduced to the England cricket setup has so much hype been built around one young player, and he didn’t disappoint, effortlessly guiding the first boundary of the match before settling in to watch Sunil’s wristy flicks and flukey edges. Typically with this team, who aim to win and entertain in equal measure, disappointment is never far away and when both batters were caught with the score only on 41 and nearly 16 overs gone, Colne were up against it.  How they reacted next could define the whole season, only one hour in !

With the ball swinging less & Tendring’s change bowlers not quite the same standard as their openers, Nick P., Pat K., and then Lewis Higgins (another debutant) were able to help themselves to some wayward and short stuff.  Lewis in particular looked like he’d benefitted the most from our intense indoor nets sessions back in the dark winter evenings and serenely moved to 48 before being caught out in several minds whether to tap or wallop a gentle half-volley, and achieving neither !  But still a great innings on his first outing with the club.

The remaining batters all contributed in their way; Satvik S.,also on debut, contributing whilst gaining valuable experience as our youngest player, and then the magnificent duo S.T-A & AT-A, both of whom showed what a difference a year makes, effortlessly improving on their previous best scores, the former by a significant factor.  Outraged at being stumped ‘Bairstow’-style, it had to be explained to him that tapping your bat down then immediately wandering off mid-over for a spot of gardening doesn’t prevent the keeper from doing the obvious. Finally, heroic Felix Preston, having rescued us by stepping in at the 11^th hour, was sent out with a myriad of comments, “we need six more runs from the final two balls for another point”, “listen to the other batter”, “what exactly is the Labour party strategy for Halstead?”.  Clearly, we’d overloaded his mind with too much and can only take the blame for his valiant swish resulting in ‘keeper Parker’s 3^rd stumping of the innings.

On to tea, and those of us who’d gambled the wrong way threw themselves on the mercy of generous benefactors or went off in search of the local Ginsters & Hula-Hoops purveyors (other nutritious snacks are available)

With our reliable opening bowler pair from 2025 indisposed at work (one in Halstead, the other in India), the new ball was thrown to two players who probably felt they’d done their bit on the batting side, Nick & Lewis. Tendring also hadn’t read the Colne script of passing up runs to let the ball age a little and were soon helping themselves to anything wide, whilst ‘keeper David was sent sprawling from one side to the other by some of Nick’s  wilder deliveries.

Chasing 195 to win, the home side had a steady rock in their skipper Daniel Gibson (eventually not out for an excellent 88) and they weren’t to know that Colne’s bowling depth today was a little skimpy, verging on indecent.  Nick took first blood however, forcing an edge that David took one-handed despite claiming that it would be easier to catch greased-up eels in his new gloves. Sunil then brought his new aggressive bowling style to the fore – half-appealing loudly for anything vaguely not perceived as a recognized stroke – before inducing a hook to long leg that Nick pocketed.  Just a shame he chose to close his catching account for the day there and then !

Both those bowlers took a further three wickets between them, before handing over to the youth;  Ollie’s turn caused some problems and was unlucky not to claim a first victim, when a superbly-snaffled slip catch was deemed ‘bump ball’, ie having hit the ground after the bat.  Many disagreed.  Satvik bowled accurately and economically to the extent of only conceding one boundary from the last ball of his spell, an amazing feat at his age.  AT-A & ST-A were then given the simple job of mopping up the tail, with 15 or so runs for the oppo to win, but they must have misread the memo, as skipper Gibson rotated the strike and punished anything short or wide.

So Tendring were worthy winners and good hosts, a lovely ground, highly recommended for the neutral visitor, just don’t park the old two-seater in position 1F as your nerves might take a beating !   For Colne, no shame in losing, it might have been closer; the curse of losing the first game of the season continues, but (consult the Book of Excuses) given how many frontline players were missing due to work commitments, family birthdays, hockey finals, the list goes on, we should come back much stronger next week over at neighbours Coggeshall on the airfield pitch.  “Prorsum et Sursum!”, as the Pompeii 4^th XI used to say, right up the the point when……

Match Summary

Earls Colne 194 all out (44.4 overs)   Higgins 48, Kerry 33, Porter 25, ST-A 22

Tendring 195-5 (38.2 overs)    Porter 3-41, Sunil Srinivasan 2-31

vs Eight Ash Green, home 30th April ’22

The square was glistening in the beautiful morning light, the players were stretching (some even able to reach their knees) and the amazing new electronic scoreboard hung precariously from the Rec Club wall, held on by half a tube of Gorilla Glue.

Meanwhile, EAG’s rather weakened side couldn’t manage Colne’s one-man destroyer, Ben Mason taking the weekend accolades with an unbeaten 50 followed by 3 wickets (including the usual c&b that no other bowler would have dreamed of reaching) He was ably supported by Dave Moon who didn’t wish to purchase a jug so was happy to see several catches in the deep go down off his dobblers. Odd to see that the scorebook recorded both of the openers as ‘hit wicket’ as they were bamboozled by the local leggie.

End result, we won by 99 runs, but with several players still unavailable for a variety of reasons and even more missing next week, can Colne keep this winning streak going over at Stowmarket on 7th May ?

vs Mistley, away, 23rd April ’22

With several players held up for a few days due to A12 roadworks, Colne were a little short-handed as they took to the field….

…..several hours later, we had our shock 2nd loss of the season, albeit a close one by 3 runs. Positives to be taken in that we almost chased down a 200+ total for the first time in 32 years and that the middle order actually contributed, but disappointing that having been ahead of the run-rate, we fell behind at the last hurdle to some rather wayward legside bowling and too many ‘swings & misses’. Further frustration came when studying the scorebook revealed most of Colne’s batters had scored less than they had been mentally counting themselves ! But the result was correct, so no complaints.

Next week, first home game and the launch of the much-awaited scoreboard.

vs Saxmundham Sports, away 16th April ’22

Welcome to 2022, and early doors we were off up the A12 to Saxmundham bundled into as few cars as possible to spare the fuel costs. With promotion from last year a distant memory and keen as always to get out after many indoor sessions, anticipation was rife. We also welcomed in two new players, young Barney Sharp and the ‘”you’ll-never-believe-my-age” Kye Hayden on an extremely short-term contract before he returns to another club when they start in another league.

With several regulars missing from the line-up such as David, Sam, Connor, all citing a variety of alleged excuses, we thought we had challenges but it was nothing compared to the opposition who’d planned not to play their skipper until he returned from seeing Spurs lose to the mighty Brighton. Such confidence ! Our skipper Daryl, not knowing that Saxmundham were actually two players down, chose to bat first on winning the toss. Would it have changed the result if Colne had bowled to nine players first ? Experts couldn’t agree.

Daryl was trying out yet another opening partner in David’s absence and this time we wondered if maybe the choice of Ben Mason might backfire, with the ever-present Cornardian usually keen on the “tip-&-run” approach. Fears were soon allayed however as the duo tucked into some early wayward bowling and were galloping along at 5/over until Ben holed out drove superbly to deep mid on where a smart catch was taken. In came Pat, but as soon as he arrived, Daryl departed, bowled around his legs for 35. The hubbub around the boundary grew as the crowd sensed a problem – when the skipper doesn’t go big, generally Colne dont either.

The evergreen Russ Dawes (persuaded to return on the basis that Saxmundham was only a few miles north of Chelmsford) was next to arrive, play some attractive shots then also depart bowled. Cometh the hour, and cometh the man – Jack Holdgate; here was a batsman who could rescue the situation whilst keeping ‘twelvethy’ busy with a succession of demands for items to be brought on/taken off whilst he amassed the runs. With a combination of effortless slogs to the extra cover boundary and intially good rotation of the strike with Pat, he did rescue the situation. Unfortunately, his batting partners had other places to be; Pat was dropped off a straight drive to short third man, but gave a simpler chance next ball to square leg; Barney’s intro to batting for Colne was shortened as he worked out what those white lines around the crease are for.

Jack was finally out for a respectable 38, and Kye took over the required boundary-finding, including one spectacular six which tested the structural integrity of the burger van scorehut. With 10-odd overs left, Trevor & Brommers tried to pick up the rate as Colne limped along past 150, eventually bringing in Dave Moon for a late cameo role.

A throwback to the old days was next as we trudged off to have tea provided – an exception to the modern norm of BYO, although several wondered what size bag would have been required to suit Kye’s dietary demands as he cleaned up, impressing all with his load and balance skills.

Back off to the field and normal service was resumed as ‘les freres de la lune’ (as they might have been known had they been born garlic-side) opened up the bowling for Colne. Just like in our innings though, the opening batsmen were no mugs and rapidly despatched anything over- or under-pitched. Younger brother Tom chose a shorter spell whilst elder brother Dave was in for a long one, and his deliciously devious leg breaks eventually brought reward, with two caught- & bowled, one smart stumping from Kye and and a simple catch to mid-on. His eventual figures of 4-37 would be the pick of the Colne bowlers and showed that his bitter frustration at being peaked at the post for last year’s bowling trophy had just about worn off. ‘Keeper Kye, who claimed post-match that it was a genuine pleasure to keep to such a bowler, was getting into the swing of wicketkeepers worldwide and keeping up a permanent chirp to batsmen and bowlers alike. His respectful call to the skipper’s bowling – “lovvvvvving it, Postie!” won’t be forgotten in a while.

Colne were always up against it though with too few runs on the board to defend, so despite the best efforts of Brommers and Ben, both of whom could be grateful for excellent catches from a Sleeman for their wickets, the home team progressed relatively serenely to their target. By the time the Saxmundham skipper came in at 6 down, amid various muttering about whether a player joining the game at 6pm could really be allowed to bat immediately (or wait until 11.30pm), it had all become rather academic and he was a happy bystander as the runs came from his batting partner, and the game was up with just under five overs to go.

A return to earth with a thud therefore, as last year’s promotion team met up with better opposition, longer matches, and a sign of what is to come. Next week, slightly nearer opposition as we head to the estuarian paradise of Mistley with a likely much-changed team due to enforced absences and the even more-enforced return of several stalwarts !

Earls Colne 155-8 (45 overs) – J.Holdgate 38, D.Sleeman 35, K.Hayden 19, T.Baigent 3-19

Saxmundham Sports 156-6 (40.5 overs) – S.Goddard 47, G. Butler 38, D. Moon 4-37

vs Bury St. Edmunds, away 4th Sept ’21

After three weeks of no action, the Day of Destiny had arrived; win this match and Colne would be champions and gain automatic promotion; lose and ignominy beckoned ! All the efforts that had gone into winning all but one match so far, all those hard evenings in the nets, all those endless strategy planning sessions in the bar, all would be for nothing if we couldn’t muster just one more win…so not too much at stake !

Team selection was made easier by the ongoing wedding season, but with a never-ending supply of Sleeman family members standing by, the eventual XI was a perfect match of the new and the old – the core of the team of who brought Colne back into the league in 2018 (Daryl, Pat, Jack, Colin, Harry), the new players we’d welcomed since then (Brommers, Connor, David G., Dave & Tom Moon) plus the returning dynamo Ben. Russian oligarchs would look on impressed at how cheaply this team of superstars had been cobbled together, on exceedingly good terms ranging from free lifts all the way up to free Earl Grey, with the ongoing paradox that only one of the names above actually lives in Earls Colne. Calling all part-time & full-time cricketers in Earls Colne ! Again !

With strict instructions to be at the ground before the start, it was a pleasant surprise to see Colne ready and fired-up at the allotted time, with only one mild panic when Ben realised late on he was car-less and would need picking up from darkest Sudbury. For once, we’d be bowling first so the Moon bro’s would be summoned into action before 3pm, not part of their usual commitment: Tom would be tearing in from the top end, marking his run-up (& the pitch) with his unique brand of left-arm searing pace, whilst elder brother Dave would no doubt be consolidating his place at the top of the wicket-taking charts with a constant stream of unplayable dibbly-dobbly leg breaks.

Unlike the home fixture against these worthy opponents, someone hadn’t read the script and today, Colne would struggle to take any early wickets. The Bury opening partnership found the going easy-to-straightforward, despatching anything wide with ease over an outfield that was proving to be a quick as an empty A14 on a freezing December night. Colne’s usual ‘ring of steel’ on the off-side could only watch as cut after cut scythed past them before crossing the boundary and trundling away for a further 100m or so. When Tom hurried one of the batsmen into a nick which was well taken by David behind the stumps, the relief was palpable, the joy unbounded, and some of the language…a little, colourful ! The bowler would rightly claim it was frustration at his own inability to take a wicket until then, but for a few moments, it all went a little Kohli/Anderson.

The next partnership did little to calm the growing supporters’ club nerves, as the hosts passed 75. As Dave Moon racked up a 10th wicketless over, the skipper’s patience finally snapped and in a Mike Brierley-like moment of inspiration, he chose to ‘try another bowler’, a technique that has worked wonders throughout the cricketing ages. The bowler he turned to was Connor Oldrey, a man pinged more times recently than Google, with his Covid alerts, and a man NOT AT ALL obsessed with his stats. But the consistent thing you can always rely on Connor for is his consistency, so it was no surprise when with his 2nd ball of metronomic accuracy (some might say dull, but let’s not be envious of being able to pitch the ball in the same half of the pitch twice in a row – Ed.), he broke the burgeoning partnership.

What happened next will go down in Earls Colne CC folklore (or as long as this site is hosted, whichever is longer – Ed.) as Connor was joined at the other end by cheap-wicket-sensing Daryl and the two of them accounted for the last eight wickets for approximately 10 runs. Connor’s amazing eventual figures of 6-12 allowing him the honour of leading Colne off as Bury succumbed to 100 all out.

As Colne sensed a potential early finish, they wolfed down their DIY tea’s, then settled into the uneven benches to watch the Saturday mid-afternoon ‘Daryl & David Entertainment Show’, a weekly production that combines muscle with subtlety, strokeplay with big heaves, good looks with snarls….and that’s just David. Sure enough, they didn’t disappoint as the rapid outfield proved a continual ally to anything that could be pulled or cut. Having reached 37 and realising he wouldn’t score 249 today to make 1000 league runs for the season, Daryl selflessly sacrificed his wicket (or was that, ‘missed a straight one’ ? – Ed.) with 25 runs needed to win, so that the cultured middle order could get a look in. But barely had Pat taken guard and driven effortlessly past 2nd slip who wasn’t there, than David decided enough was enough, he really didn’t need a Boycott-style partner, the run rate needed vast improvement and so powered on to his 50 and the winning runs in only the 16th over.

To Colin, Jack, Ben, Brommers, and Harry, none of whom had a look-in with bat nor ball…it could not have been done without you and being part of another excellent fielding unit on the day. Just when it looked like no outfielders would be involved in any of the wickets, Colin took his annual semi-worldie at gully for the final Bury wicket Safe to say though, such is the depth of this new-look Colne team, these five could have won it on their own. Ben used to open the bowling for Colne, Harry did so until this season, Brommers was top-wicket taker in the 2019 league season, Colin took a 4-fer not so long ago, and Jack’s banana-balls continue to befuzzle many good batsmen, if not endanger their stumps too much !

And the binary connection other than win/lose ….? How often do you see a scorebook that reads 100/10 followed by 101/1 ? Interesting, eh ? (No, you’re sacked again ! – Ed)

So that wrapped up the league and last game of our season as Champions. Finally, after inconsistency laid waste to our hopes in the last two league seasons, we can progress onto higher grounds where several of our players clearly belong (such modesty – Ed.). Next Saturday 11th will be our annual storing away of sightscreens, boards, etc, followed by the annual presentation of the batting trophy to the skipper….and many others !

Special thanks to :-

• Bury St Edmunds CC for being excellent hosts despite having to field a weakened team, and for buying us a jug
• Stowmarket CC for being amongst the first to congratulate us. Class. We hope in the re-jig that usually happens at this end of the league, they are also promoted.
• All our supporters who made the journey to see our first success in eight years.
• Rosemary Prestney for taking some great photos, which WILL end up on the website
• Finally, our coach, Bryan ‘Merciless’ McManus, whose regular beastings and tongue-lashings took us all to some dark places before instilling in us all a belief that winning more than two games in a row is not against the rules, that staying in after you’ve hit one sumptuous shot actually makes sense, and that using your hands to field the ball saves your ankles. Bryan’s near-psychotic St. Osythian rants drove at least one player (Connor) to avoid Earls Colne on a Wednesday evening. This one’s for you, Bryan !

vs Woolpit, @home 14th Aug ’21

The rain had subsided, the pitch rolled flatter than the former editor’s one-liners, and Colne were looking forward to welcoming Woolpit for the final home league match of the season. Whilst we couldn’t hope to match the quality of their pitch and facilities, we’d endeavour to entertain them with our witty onfield banter and post-match much-delayed BBQ.

For the n^th time this season, Colne would be batting first, having lost the toss. In a neat symmetry to their lengthy partnership against the same opponents earlier in the season, Daryl & David set off in the usual rapid style taking advantage of some under-pitched bowling from one end and over-pitched from the other. When David finally fell for 69 with the score on 194, matters were looking peachy for the home side. By that time, Daryl had reached his 4th century of the season (placing him at the top of the entire league in ‘centuries scored’) and his 2nd against this same opposition. On the flipside, we are recommending that he really focus on converting his 120’s into ‘Big Daddies’, but so long as he’s scoring >90% of his runs in boundaries, there’s a bright future for ball manufacturers.

To give Woolpit some credit here though; this was a (mainly) young team who have a long cricketing future in front of them, and all watching were impressed with not only how they stuck to the task but didn’t let their heads go down when boundaries were flying ball after ball.

Pat came and departed rapidly, falling a tantalising 92 runs short of an equally entertaining century, to be followed by Sam. Here was a man on a mission, to stop the rot on his recent low scores, invariably bowled on the back foot, and sure enough, 30 minutes later, his confidence was restored with a rapid 60*. He partook in an electric partnership of 87 with Connor who scored 35, and then we saw Ben enter the fray for the final ball of the innings. As ever, Ben was keen on turning the inevitable single into a two, and then attempt to make that three. It wasn’t to be though, but Colne could be satisfied with a final score of 327-4, and all batsmen scoring at over 100% (with the exception of one who saw out a particularly accurate spell – own up Ed !, Ed) with plenty of respect due for a young Woolpit bowling attack.

After a team huddle to remind ourselves not to get carried away and start dreaming of the sumptuous BBQ offerings, but instead to focus on taking 10 wickets, Colne took to the pitch with their habitual opening bowling pair of T. Moon & D.Moon raring to go. The latter was soon into his swing, bowling yet another innocent batsman around his legs, and when a difficult fielding stop for Harry at square leg caused the ball to ricochet to Ben who then threw back to the bowler’s end, a simple run-out gave us the 2nd wicket with just 11 runs on the board; cue over-celebration on the part of Ben as he added to his lengthy list of ‘Total Victims’ in the fielding stakes.

Wickets began to fall regularly, bar a 53-run 6th wicket partnership. When the catch was smartly taken at slip by Connor to end that partnership, D.Moon had picked up 3 wickets & younger bro Tom 2. An eighth wicket partnership of 69 between young Loft & skipper Holmes had some of the many spectators concerned but Woolpit were never really up with the required rate to threaten. This partnership also gave Chairman Pat the opportunity to put down or just completely miss some relatively easy catches in the deep – depth perception training may be required.

When Sam caught out the dangerous Holmes, the game was nearly up. There was still time for skipper Sleeman to take 2-2 from 15 balls, for Connor to pick up 2 wickets of his own less economically, and for Harry to display some disturbing symptoms connected to his ‘nettus allergicus’ condition …or maybe it was just because he wasn’t used to the uphill climb when bowling from the lower end. Eventually, the game was won and all could feel they had participated; Gav had taken a smart catch, Brommers had taken some smart tumbles, and it was great to see so many non-playing players supporting from the sidelines; well, we think it was support, maybe it was the cheap drink !

One more league game to go, against the erratic Bury St E. (big winners one week, big losers the next, but more of the former recently) on 4th Sept. We’ll take no notice of the result when they visited the Rec Club ground earlier in the season, but a win will ensure we win the league !

Next week meanwhile, a return friendly fixture over at Halstead, and a chance to gain revenge for the remarkable result we saw at Colne on 5th June.

https://twocounties.play-cricket.com/website/results/4664233